Essay 1
Argument
What is education? What is its purpose? Write an essay exploring these questions.
I am interested in your views, your understanding, your argument. So I ask that you perform no research and seek no help for this assignment. No googling. No library visits. No ChatGPT. Just use your head and write what you think in the best way you know how.
No more than 3 pages
Use the MLA format
First Draft Notes
Topic Sentences and Unified Paragraphs
Topic Sentences
Topic sentences
function like a miniature thesis
that communicates the purpose or main idea of a paragraph. It is important that your topic sentences are clear and accurately reflect the nature of the paragraph it initiates.
Most commonly, topic sentences are strong, declarative statements that make a claim
. The sentences that follow the topic sentence in the paragraph are used to support that claim. However, a topic sentence may also be a question. In this case, the sentences that follow the topic sentence are used to move toward a conclusion or further develop the question.
Some generally good advice about topic sentences:
-
Use the topic sentence of each paragraph to clearly state the subject or focus of the paragraph. If the paragraph and topic sentence are not in sync, or if the topic sentence doesn’t actually state the nature of the paragraph, you need to revise it.
-
Use the topic sentence to set forth a
claim
that supports the thesis and drives the argument forward. This is not a hard rule, and there are other ways to start a paragraph, but it is a strong way that helps keep you focused.
Compare:
-
My high school has a unique program that allowed students to experiment and explore.
-
Education facilitates inquiry and exploration, which are critical needs in the life of every human being.
More information on topic sentences, including examples, here in the Open Handbook.
Paragraphs
Some generally good advice about paragraphs:
Paragraphs should be unified: every sentence in the paragraph should focus in some way on the main idea expressed in the topic sentence
. Further, the paragraph’s individual sentences should be presented in a logical order and flow naturally from one to the other. While this is not a strict rule, it may be helpful to think of paragraphs as miniature essays, each with their own thesis, development, and proof.
- More information on paragraphs, including examples, here in the Open Handbook.
Everyday vs. Every day
In the first draft I saw many students who were confused about everyday (as one word) and every day (as two words). They are very different in their meanings:
-
everyday: adj. As one word you use it to mean that something is ordinary or common. In fact, just substitute one of those words in place of everyday to see if the sentence still makes sense.
-
every day adv. As two words it is an adverbial phrase that means “each day” or “daily,” a reference to the frequency of a certain action.
-
My son eats oatmeal everyday.
-
My son eats oatmeal every day.
-
The everyday struggles of many Americans are truly heartbreaking.
-
The every day struggles of many Americans are truly heartbreaking.
The F-bomb solution™
For no particular reason I have discovered that if you can put an f-bomb between every and day then it should be two words:
-
I go to the store every [f*ing] day.
-
These are my every [f*ing] day pants.
A clever way to remember this:
-
Every day (See the space? An F-bomb fits in there. Two words.)
-
Everyday (No space for the bomb. One word.)
Comma Splices and Semicolons
Semicolons
A. Used to separate a series of items containing commas. (Not very common).
-
I went to London, England, Paris, France, Bristol, Tennessee, and Berlin, Germany.
-
I went to London, England; Paris, France; Bristol, Tennessee; and Berlin, Germany.
B. Used to link two independent clauses to suggest a connection. (Very common).
-
My son had trouble sleeping last night; I shouldn’t have given him that chocolate cupcake.
-
Americans say they appreciate the hard work of teachers; however, very few are willing to pay them a decent wage.
C. Things you don’t do with semicolons.
-
Please get three things from the store; bread, milk, and a lot of beer.
-
Please get three things from the store: bread, milk, and a lot of beer.
Comma splice errors
A comma splice error occurs when you use a comma to connect two independent clauses:
-
I love my red truck, it is a Chevy Colorado.
-
I love my red truck. It is a Chevy Colorado.
-
I love my red truck; it is a Chevy Colorado.
The Em Dash —
The em dash is perhaps the most versatile punctuation mark: it can function like a comma, colon, or parentheses. In formal writing it is used to indicate extra information or an aside—much as you would do with commas, colons, or parentheses. There is a good explainer on this punctuation mark on the Merriam-Webster site. The two most common uses in formal writing are displayed here:
-
The Soviets gave us the greatest exercise tool ever invented - the kettlebell.
-
The Soviets gave us the greatest exercise tool ever invented—the kettlebell.
-
The Soviet-Afghan War—a main contributor to the fall of the Soviet Union—has received increased scrutiny by scholars as America’s mission there has foundered.
Emphasis
How do you show emphasis in formal writing?
-
Unless I am being unusually calculating, I don’t DECIDE to befriend someone . . .
-
Unless I am being unusually calculating, I don’t decide to befriend someone . . .
-
Unless I am being unusually calculating, I don’t decide to befriend someone . . .
The 5 Paragraph Essay
Everyone was taught the 5-paragraph essay form in high school. There is an introduction with a thesis, three paragraphs of support, and a summary conclusion that restates the thesis.
The problem is that you can’t really do much in 5-paragraphs and your time at Dartmouth will require you to reach for rhetorical forms that can accommodate much more complexity. One place to begin is to imagine that your paper is as many paragraphs as needed in order to justify the thesis. There is no magic number of paragraphs. There is no recipe or formula.
Another thing to reconsider is the summary conclusion
that is a hallmark of the 5-paragraph essay. I saw many of these. You say what you’ve just said again at the end. Strong readers might find this somewhat insulting since it assumes we can’t understand what we just read or hold these ideas in our heads for 5 paragraphs.
If we imagine that the reader has a good grasp on what you’ve just argued, how should your piece end? What do you need to say or do or explain to achieve closure? What do you hope the reader takes away from your argument? What should they do in response to it?
Revision 1
Let’s first distinguish proofreading from revision.
During proofreading you might rephrase some language and alter your punctuation. Revision, on the other hand, is a more comprehensive project—an effort to “re-see” your writing, argument, evidence. If proofreading is like tidying up your house, revision is a total renovation. I gave you some thoughts on revising this piece. You also gained some insights from your colleagues and tutor. You are free to embrace or reject these ideas in whole or in part. As always, pursue your own ideas and arguments and sovereignty. Where should you take this piece?
After you complete this revision, I’d like you to consider your argument in light of what Walker Percy writes in his essay “The Loss of the Creature.” Do Percy’s arguments reinforce your original ideas, or do they render them doubtful and problematic? In short: have you experienced a change of mind? If not, what in Percy’s thinking reinforces your own? Write a statement reflecting on your own thinking from the perspective Percy affords us.
This statement should be typed directly below the conclusion of your essay draft.